Almost Only Counts In Horseshoes

If anyone was disillusioned that when Thanksgiving rolled around I may go soft and have a difficult time consenting to the butchering of the turkeys, allow me to allay your concerns. It is with anticipation in fact that I look forward to that time! (And it's hard to get me to want summer to ever end for any reason!)

Do you think me cruel? Perhaps that's because you've never lived with free-ranging turkeys. Those are some big birds!

Do you know what big birds do?

They leave big droppings.

And these super friendly big birds who leave big droppings like to perch on my deck... and "drop".... A LOT! (Turkeys like to perch up high. In the wild they do their perching in trees. I have lots of trees, it's just mine are too stupid to fly up into them. They keep us entertained dancing around trying though.) Spraying the deck down needs to be done a couple times a day and then we're on high alert trying to keep them off.

Being the nearest when they were recently spotted in forbidden territory, I went to give them a push off. The first flew down fine. The second was hanging on for dear life. I tried a second time to loosen the death grip he had on the railing. He teetered forward... then tottered back... then leaned waaaay forward and just when I thought he was going to go,

He did (in an I-should-have-known-better-but-it-was-still-unexpected kinda way) and sprayed out a mess. I jumped back missing being splashed by millimeters! It was virtually impossible to detect any space whatsoever between the perimeter of the inkblot and my foot.

Having done his worst, he nonchalantly flew from the deck leaving me blubbering like a fool. I had to sit down and collect myself because I was near the point of sobbing.

I always tell my kids that, "Almost only counts in horseshoes...", but I guess for me it counts in something else too.

Sure it's great raising your own all-natural food. I like knowing it was treated humanely, teaching my children that food doesn't always come from a grocery store and instilling a work ethic in them. I like the feeling of independence, rather, self-sufficiency that comes with it. That doesn't mean that I like every aspect of raising it though! And I certainly don't want to paint an unrealistic picture of a charming country life. Not that I think there is any danger of that.

Perhaps I should though. You know what they say, "Misery loves company."

In the end, I imagine that the revulsion will fade. We'll find ourselves forgetting the particular trials as we gather around the table giving thanks to God for His Providence over the last year.

I know that after all of the trouble the hog gave us, it sure didn't dampen the excited giggles last weekend when we sat at the table , sticky, covered in BBQ sauce and licking our fingers, our bellies full after having just enjoyed a plate full of ribs and fresh corn from the garden.

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